In the Moment

UPDATE: Facebook User, Asif, Regains Friendship With Scorned Ex-Best Friend, Mudasir

Exactly a month ago to the day, our fragile world was rocked when a Facebook user from the Gujranwala District in Pakistan announced that he was severing ties with his then-former best friend Mudasir in favor of new best friend Salman. Today, however, people from all corners of the globe can breathe easy—Asif and Mudasir are friends once more.

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In the Moment

Doomsday Group Posts FAQ to Explain Why the World Didn’t End on Time

There have been a lot of End-of-Days-to-be over the years. Y2K. Wayne Bent’s Day of Judgement. The Mayan Apocalypse. The Blood Moon Prophecy. All of which have come and gone without leaving Earth the smoldering pile of rubble we’re so often promised. But now, finally, eBible Fellowship is here to tell us why with a friendly FAQ on why we’re all still alive.

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In the Moment

4Chan Gets Highly Sensitive Spy Report, Dismisses It as “Fake and Gay”

Shockingly, 4chan—the cherished home of aspiring internet vigilantes and/or racist piles of garbage everywhere—isn’t quite as cunning as it might have you believe. When a whistleblower published a highly sensitive (and highly legitimate) report from an Australian spy agency to its profanity-laden forums, 4chan users didn’t waste any time in analyzing the potential goldmine at their fingertips: “Fake and gay.”

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In the Moment

How a Sesame Street Illustrator Became the Truther Scene’s Golden Boy

Screaming children run from oversized vaccine death needles. Barack Obama shows off a handwritten birth certificate bearing the words “KENYA” and “FIRE ME.” Swastika-inscribed fluoride tanks empty themselves into lakes beneath a sky full of chemtrails. It’s every overblown conspiracy theorist’s nightmare, and there’s not a drop of irony in sight.

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In the Moment

Internet Racists Are Obsessed With Nickelodeon’s Show About “Cuckoldry”

You’ve probably never heard of Bella and the Bulldogs, a relatively new show on Nickelodeon about a perky cheerleader-turned-quarterback. It’s fairly popular among tweens and has just been renewed for a second season. It’s also popular among infuriated, far right-wing racists, who have become positively obsessed with the show’s supposedly anti-white “race cuckoldry.”

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In the Moment

White Men Wave Their Butts in the Air for the Confederacy

Remember planking? Remember how tired and unfunny it got in such a short amount of time? Thanks to Vice co-founder and anthropomorphized subreddit Gavin McInnes, the terrible internet trend of our past is back. And this time, it’s here to speak out against the atrocious shaming and reverse racism currently oppressing the country’s white males. Or something.

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In the Moment

“My Poor Toilet Bowl!!!!”: Piping Hot Amazon Reviews of Laxative Tea

Everybody may poop, but there’s one, extra special corner of Amazon where everybody doesn’t just poop—they poop like goddamn clockwork. And they’re more than happy to share their shadooby-stained tales of nature’s call. A call they owe entirely to the laxative tea that they bought for their—uh, wives. Sure, yes. Their wives.

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In the Moment

The Greatest Internet Flame Wars Are Happening on Clown-Forum.com

No matter how much the internet may change over the years, there are at least two constants: absurd flame wars, and the wildly specific message boards from which they’re wrought. Perhaps the greatest of these virtual cesspools is Clown-Forum.com, a forum for clowns.

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Uncategorized

Lost YouTube: 7 Videos From the Internet’s Weirdest, Darkest Depths

YouTube is, for the most part, the place where everything Right and Good goes to die. But move those lifeless cat and listicle corpses aside, and you’ll find a dark, fascinating world that’s all too easy to get lost in for hours. So instead of losing part of your own life to YouTube’s depths, we’ve brought the underbelly to you.

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